when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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