Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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