Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
