I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
