Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
