i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize