What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
