Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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