Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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