Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm both gender and math confused
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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