i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
