I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
