Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
