Hey man sorry I got all grabby
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize