I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
