I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
