my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My feet surprised me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize