I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize
