the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
