Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
