pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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