She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
