I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
