saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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