He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
