woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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