My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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