You can't special order awesome
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
