For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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