Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
