i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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