Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
