Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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