I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
