can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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