Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
