So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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