What a fucking waste of an outfit
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
