I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
