Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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