Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize