i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You can't just leave with hair like that
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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