Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
