just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize