I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
