Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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