I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
