I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
it's like iHOP with fire
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
