we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
