Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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