My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
