Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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