I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
this will be a night to untag.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
