I hate all girls vehemently.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
