Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
smell my finger.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
