Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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