I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
