Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
