so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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