Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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