Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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