chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
vagina is talking i cant
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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