Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
