People with herpes should wear stickers.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
