So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
