And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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