Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
