evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Randomize
