i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
