At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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