i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
