i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
