Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
